Anonymous asked: My boyfriend & I usually have sex on the floor behind his bed so when you walk in you can only see the bed. And we were having sex one day & I was on top and his mom walks in and she can't see him but she can see me with my shirt on, and she's asking me where he is and I'm sitting on his dick & he's on the bottom trying not to laugh and moving around to make me make faces. And we were talking for like 15 minutes while I was sitting on his dick and having pleasant talk with his mom. NEVER AGAIN.

hannahlaurahierseman:

Hi, My name is Junie B. Jones. The B. stands for Beatrice, except I don’t like Beatrice. I just like B. and that’s all.

basementdemo:

my mom told me to put the dog to bed but didn’t specify which bed 

Title: ***Flawless (feat. Nicki Minaj)
Artist: Beyoncé
Played: 2232734 times

okayyyycupid:

hante:

reichsstadt:

ARE YOU SERIOUS

OF COURSE SOMETIME SHIT GO DOWN WHEN THERE’S A BILLION DOLLARS ON THAT ELEVATOR 

Listened to this with my boyfriend in the room and when that line came on I said “Oh my god!” and looked expectantly at him. He patronizingly said “Oh my god!” too and then I laid my head on the table whining things like “You don’t even know.” and “I’m so alone.”

I’m a catch, everyone.


bethchildsonbroadway:

is this a scene from orphan black

save-spock-and-roll:

when no one in class is ready for the test

image

veganelfprincess:

kev-n:

The ol rrrrrrrazzle dazzle

The longer I watch, the funnier it gets

frenchoverture:

Those two comments made my day.

resubee:

Thor the passive aggressive roommate.